


Who the Fuck Cares?

by Edens_Spilled_Ink (orphan_account)



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: Chill, Ficlet, Other, Pronouns, RIP me, They/Them, also kinda Shizuo/Shinra if you squint, also theres mention of Celty’s gender fyi, and Izaya is the most androgynous one, common kids it’s not that serious, cursing but I guess you could guess that from the title, duarara, first finished work in fandom whoop whoop, gender shenanigans, i just thought it would be cute for one of the characters to defend another ones pronouns, implied Celty/Shinra, just a little argument with two bros who decided to have dinner together, kinda Izaya/Shizuo if you squint, little preachy but it’s tolerable I promise lol, nonbianary, nothing shamey or negative, pls don’t run I promise this isn’t just tumblr nonsense, pronoun defense, slight transphobia?, started of as a drabble, too many tags, trans and nonbianary issues, whoops
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-04
Updated: 2018-08-04
Packaged: 2019-06-21 15:15:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15560574
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Edens_Spilled_Ink
Summary: In which two bros get dinner together, and Shizuo defends Izaya? I know - Shinra’s surprised too.





	Who the Fuck Cares?

Shizuo fidgeted in his booth at Russian Sushi and stared at his plate with a gaze made of murder, “I’m going to kill them one of these days,” he growled, slamming the chopsticks beside his plate, “48 hours in the police station just because the sick asshole wanted to fuck with me, that parasite drives me up the wall!”

“Now now,” Shinra scolded as usual, “you know how he is.”

“They,” Shizuo corrected briefly.

Shinra looked up, surprised, “ _What_?”

Shizuo furrowed his brow, “The flea goes by they. Haven’t they mentioned this before?”

Shinra chuckled, “why do you even care? I thought you hated him?”

“Them,” Shizuo insisted as he thought back to weeks ago when he’d been mid fight with Izaya when they’d corrected him.

_‘For the record, it’s they/them,’ he’d smirked, ‘as if I would never concern myself with trivial nonsense like gender.’_

Even then, he’d known mentioning his whole god thing was a front. If he didn’t concern himself with it, why change pronouns? The asshole didn’t even make sense! But he bit his tongue, nodded in agreement, and chucked a vending machine at them - because _who the fuck cares?_

“I don’t care, and I hate their fucking guts-“ he explained, “It’s just that it would be a low blow to disrespect something that simple. It’s just petty.” Shizuo started to pick at his food, popping a piece of salmon into his mouth.

“What even is he-“ Shinra started.

“ _Izaya_ ,” Shizuo corrected lamely, “ _Dude_ , just make the tiniest bit of effort and it starts to come naturally.”

“Izaya,” Shinra started again, “I mean - they’ve - never mentioned it? Do you think it has something to do with their god complex?”

Shizuo shrugged, “Maybe you should ask them? I don’t think we should be speculating.” Personally, based on what they’d said, Shizuo thought the flea wasn’t anything - that they thought themselves above it all or were just born that way, but he kept that to himself.

“Well you’re the one going on and on about how you hate him-“ Shinra started.

“Them,” Shizuo corrected.

“ _Them_ ,” Shinra hissed, “but you’re still defending them!”

Shizuo banged his fist on the table, “ _Yeah_ , and you’re supposed to be they’re _friend_! Why aren’t _you_?”

The table fell into silence, “ _I just don’t get it_ ,” Shinra admitted lamely.

“Well Celty is - biologically- a monster,” Shizuo supplied, “Technically, as far as I know there’s no scientific evidence that she even has chromosomes - let alone a gender-“ Shinra tried to interject to defend his soon to be fiancé, but Shizuo put a hand up, “-but we show her respect, and we call her she/her because that’s what she prefers, and that’s fine.” Shizuo finished.

Shinra stared at his drink for a moment, “I guess I should put in more effort for Izaya,” he whispered blankly, a man clouded with realization.

“I’m glad,” Shizuo popped his last piece of sushi into his mouth, downed his drink and waved down a waitress for the check, “now let’s get out of here, I need a smoke.”

**Author's Note:**

> and that’s it, hope it wasn’t to preachy but watchya gonna do. oh and just a reminder that this fic is obviously not cannon dont panic just because I wrote one ficlet about a nonbianary Izaya and their pronouns doesn’t mean I hate the source material (very much male) Izaya ;)
> 
> also I wrote this at 2 in the morning fml sorry if it’s bad
> 
> love y’all! please don’t forget to comment and kudos it literally means the world to me okay bye ~~~


End file.
